Monday, February 27, 2006

Jesus Pets

I hereby volunteer to take care of your family pet post-rapture!


Rowan said...

I wanna be a Jesus Pet affiliate, too!

I promise, won't even have sex with the goldfish.

Uncle Fatso said...

Wait a sec....I don't know about mainstream theology, but I'm pretty sure at least dogs will go to heaven. Before you sign on the dotted line I'd check this out...sounds a bit hoaky.

Uncle Fatso said... that how you spell "hoaky?"

Dave said...

I’m sorry, but for some reason I think this subject is hilarious.

First, the Bible, even according to experts (such as is silent on whether animals go to heaven. The bottom line according to this site is this:

“Obviously, what God has prepared for us is wonderful beyond comprehension. Therefore, love your pets as much as you can while they are here. Those of us who go to heaven will later understand that everything worked out perfectly regarding our pets.”

I have to smile whenever I read “wonderful beyond comprehension” or it’s ilk. In other words, “it doesn’t make any sense, people!”. And “everything worked out perfectly regarding our pets”??? They’re DEAD.

In any case, this subject raises some interesting questions to ponder:

1. If pets can go to Heaven, does that mean that, like humans, most pets go to Hell?

2. Can a pet be a Christian? If not, are they judged by their deeds?

3. What about a good Christian dog with an atheist owner? Will Spot go to heaven all alone? If so, will God provide an owner-double?

4. What about a Christian with a bad pet? Will God provide a pet-double?

5. In Heaven, will the pets there be stripped of their evil ways, their eyes glazed over in religious ecstasy, and their little paws raised in praise? Will they play fetch with Jesus for eternity?

6. Will Heaven have fire hydrants made of gold?

7. If your pet simply dies, what would you miss more in Heaven… Your pet that is now dead or your relatives (such as me) that are suffering in Hell for eternity?

My bottom line: The silliness of this subject is only overshadowed by the absurdness that a loving god could create Hell in the first place.

Rowan said...
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Rowan said...
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